


Like You Do

by janerenae



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janerenae/pseuds/janerenae
Summary: Fic inspired by Like You Do by Joji. Also inspired by my trauma, which is why Dream's childhood is so shitty because it's literally mine. I hope it's okay to do that but I'm not sure. This is my first work so please be nice lol.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. Lost in the Blue.

"How many more times are you going to say that to me?" Dream muttered. 

"As many times as I need to for you to believe me." George softly spoke. Dream always loved how soft he spoke to him, and he tried to do the same, although it was hard. Dream likes to think he grew up pretty stable. But deep down, he knows, he knows that it could've been better. The feeling gnaws at him everyday. The feeling of not feeling complete, of not knowing how to feel complete. Or maybe it was the feeling of not being able to feel? He's never been sure. But he's sure that George makes him feel more. But expressing it verbally has been hard. 

"I love you, Clay." Dream cringed. He hates being called Clay by people who he feels don't know him. Who don't know Clay. They know Dream. Although he knows that George is the person who has come the closest to knowing the true him, not just some online persona that everybody else knows. He's come closer than Sapnap has. He thinks it might be because Dream and Sapnap have never had the connection that he's had with George. He's never felt his face rush red with blood from hearing Sap's voice. He's never even thought about uttering the words that he's said to George to Sapnap. He knows that it's because that's not who Sapnap is. For the entire time he's known him, every couple of months or so, Sapnap would gush over the new girl that he was infatuated with. Dream always thought it was silly, how he could become so obsessed with someone in such little time. But now, now he understood. It had only taken him a few months to fall for George. When he told Sapnap how he felt about their mutual friend, he admitted that he always knew. He said, "You've never really talked about girls. And when I would you always sounded so confused, at first I just thought the girls in Orlando were ugly. But then as time went on, I just realized that you probably just didn't like girls, but I never asked you about it because I didn't want to be wrong." Sapnap has this thing about being wrong. He always has. He always defends himself even if he's realized he's wrong. 

"Hello? Dream? I'm sorry I know you don't like me calling you Clay, it's just I feel closer to you when I do." Dream could hear the panic in his voice.  
"No no sorry it's okay. Sorry I just, spaced off."  
"Yeah you've been doing that quite a bit lately. Do you need to get something off your chest? I know its hard for you to express how you're feeling sometimes, but you know you can talk to me. You know this. You've known this. Ever since we started..." His voice trailed off. Neither of them liked using the term "dating." Neither of them knew why either. They had both discussed it though, and they were both okay with the other not using the word. 

"Anyways, I'm serious. I want you to be more open with me. I know it'll take time, but I'm here for you. I will always be here for you. I'm never leaving." George's words of reassurance always made Dream's mind settle, and soon enough he forgets why his mind was even racing in the first place. 

"I've just been thinking, um about when I was a kid. But I'm still not sure if I want to talk about it. Because I'm still not sure what to say, my memory of it all is still a mess." George stayed silent. He tries his best, Dream knows, but he's not sure if he'll ever truly understand. 

He finally speaks but his voice is low and quiet, "I... I'm sorry" He hesitates. "I'm sorry Clay." Dream could hear him wince though his words. 

"It's okay you don't have to apologize, it's not your fault. I just..." He sighs, "I love you too." He knows he doesn't say this enough. He feels a certain way about showing people affection. There's no word to describe it though. Uncomfortable? No. Uneasy? That's not it either. Every so often he tries to search his brain for a word to match it but he can never find one. He knows exactly why he feels this way though. His family. They did this to him. Maybe not intentionally, but they still did it. His father, David, left his mom while she was pregnant because he didn't care, and now, after what happened to him, Dream will never be able to ask him why he didn't care. Then his mom. In and out of jail for a different thing each time, and while she was out, she still didn't take care of him. She abused him. He doesn't physically remember what he did but still when he sees a hand up in the air he can't help but to flinch. Then, he was adopted by his aunt, although he calls her mom now because she's been there for so long. She's been there physically, unlike his biological parents, but like them, she didn't express that she cared. Not in the least. Growing up with that has caused him to go numb. To hide how he feels. To bottle it up even. They're why it took him so long to finally tell George how he felt about him and why he still can't build up the courage to tell him how he continues to feel. Not only about him, but just how he feels in general. 

"I love you Gogy," he smirks. He can hear George groan through the voice call. He laughs until he's keeled over, wheezing. When he finally stops he looks at the time. 11:19 pm. He does quick math to find out what time it is for George. 4:19 am.  
"George what the fuck? It's actually so late for you. You need to go to bed."  
"But I'm not tired and I want to keep talking to you"  
"George I'm serious, you're going to regret staying up late soon." He insists. George huffs,  
"Fine. I guess I'll go to bed. Goodnight I love you."  
"I love you Grog."  
"Shut up."  
The call ends. Dream calls Patches to him as he gets into bed. Today was rough, and filled with thoughts. Not unlike any other day though. He turns off his bedside table lamp and drifts to sleep. 

His sleeps starts restless, like it always does because of the Florida heat. But soon he appears in a never ending room filled with blue light. He can't tell where the light source source is, it seems to be coming from every angle. As he walks it never fades. Never gets brighter, never changes hue. He knows he's lost. He doesn't know which direction he came from. There's nothing to distinguish where he is. Maybe if he recognized the place he'd feel calm. He can feel his heart pounding like a jackhammer. Outloud he asks "Where am I? Why?" Not expecting a response, but he gets one, from multiple people. People he knows. "Leave. Now. We don't you here." Sapnap, Karl, Tommy, Wilbur, all of his friends, but no George. He runs, tears dripping down his face. The wind wips at his face as he tries to escape the voices of his friends undermining him. "Get out Clay. We don't need you." Their voices fade, but he doesn't stop running, he doesn't want them to catch up to him. When he can longer hear them, he stops. He looks around. He still doesn't know where he is. It's all still blue. He's lost. _Lost in the blue._

He jolts up to the sound of his alarm. Bright, yellow-orange rays of sunlight fill his room from his window, stinging his eyes. There's no need to check the time. It's 7 am. He wakes up at the same time everyday. His day starts out very scheduled, but as time goes on, he always tends to get distracted and strays away from his plan for the day. It' noon for George but he's sure he's still not awake. He gets up to feed Patches and himself and clean his house a little bit, although he doesn't need to do much, as for the majority of the day he is just on a call with Sapnap, George and others. Thinking about this, he remembers his dream from the night before. What had made him dream that? He usually didn't remember his dreams, much less so vividly. The blue was so vibrant like he doesn't think he'll ever be able to get it out of his head. It was a steel blue, one he had seen before but he couldn't remember it clearly enough. He's not sure if he wants to be in a call with any of them. It seems selfish but he's still a bit uneasy. Everything lately has been confusing. But George makes it better, but maybe George is the reason why its so confusing. He doesn't understand why he couldn't understand why he had to have his shit life but George gets to have his seemingly perfect life. With his family. With love surrounding him. Why? 


	2. I don't want to seem foolish.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream tells george about his dream from the last chapter, learning how to express how he feels and what hes thinking more and more. (A liddol bit of character development one might say.)

"Good morning! :) How did you sleep last night?" George inquires through a text. Although its not morning for either of them, 10:28 am from Dream, 3:28 pm for George.  
"Good," he types out, lying. He doesn't know if he wants to tell George about his dream. He deletes the text.  
"I had a rough time getting to sleep and I had the weirdest dream. Almost a nightmare."  
"Really? That's a surprise I've never heard you talk about your dreams, much less scary ones. What was it about?" He's not sure if he should tell exactly how it was. How it was to hear his best friends yelling at him. Betraying him. Hating him. How the cool steel blue light that shined from everywhere almost felt like a shield of protection against their hot words. He starts typing, "Well I'm not sure where I was. I was lost. Everything around me was blue. But not a dark blue," he once again remembered the hue, one he sees all the time, it makes him feel safe, not only in his dream but in real life too. "It was calm at first but then I said something out loud. I asked where I was." He hesitates. Should he tell him the that words Sapnap and the others said? "And then I heard Sapnaps, Tommy's," He backspaces. "I heard voices, they were yelling at me. Loudly. Telling me they didn't care about me. It scared me so I ran. I ran until I felt that I couldn't run anymore. And then I was lost, truly lost. It was all still blue." Send.

It takes George a minute to read it. Dream feels guilty for not telling him the full dream. He sees George typing.  
"Did you recognize it? The voice?" He figures it can't hurt to tell him the truth. Before he can start typing another notification pops up.  
"Do you just want to call? I miss your voice and I hate typing." Dream opens Discord to call him.  
"Hi!" Dream can hear George's smile through his words. Over 4,000 miles and he can always hear how he's feeling, what he's doing.

"Hey" Dream says, trying his best to sound enthusiastic, he knows he's failed by George's silence.  
"So, do you know who the voice was? Or was it like some random voice?"  
"Well it wasn't really a voice, it was a lot of voices. I could hear everyone. Like Sapnap, Tommy, Wilbur, Karl. Everyo-"  
"But I wasn't there?" George cuts him off.  
"No, no you weren't but it felt like you were there with me. But your voice wasn't there and I never saw you... I could just feel your presence if that makes sense."  
George made a noise of thinking as he was rolling over Dream's words.  
"Well I'm sorry that that happened, I know how you feel about people in your life turning on you if that's the right word." You know but you'll never understand Dream though. Why was he thinking such heated things towards George? Was it jealousy? Jealousy that he had the perfect life? He still loved George. He knew that. He could never stop loving George.  
"Yeah." He finally said. "That's why I haven't gotten on a call with any of them today. Is that selfish? _I don't wanna seem foolish, when I'm jumping into this._ Jumping to conclusions"  
"No no no. You don't need to feel like that about yourself. Everything you feel..." George was thinking, "Everything you feel is right. Right for you, it may not be right to everyone, but it's right for you. And I understand how you're feeling" No you don't. Jesus Clay, shut up. Stop being such a dick to everyone in your mind. "What you're feeling is right for me too. You may not think it, but I understand you, your feelings. I truly do, I've noticed so much about you that you probably haven't noticed about yourself." Maybe I'm wrong? Dream questions himself in his head.  
"Like what?"  
"Hm?"  
"What have you noticed?"  
"Well I can tell when you're thinking. I can always hear the click of your caps lock key. And when you're mad, your voice gets gravely. You're always popping your knuckles." Dream looked down to see his left knuckles pushed against him left palm. He immediately drops his hands.  
"Okay, okay I believe you. You know me." He scoffs sarcastically.  
"No not only do I know you, Clay. I understand you. Remember that. And remember that I love you. With all my heart. I don't care if it sounds corny or cheesey because it's true."  
George, listen," He knows this is going to come off as weird be he doesn't care, "You're the only person who has ever talked to me like that. It..." He hesitates. Fuck Clay just get to the point. "It's scary sometimes. I love it, but it's scary." He breathes out a sigh of relief. He's finally getting things off of his chest. He's getting better. With the help of George. "Please don't ever stop though. I think that's why it's scary. Because I'm afraid you'll leave."  
"Never," George assures him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza okie lolz. I need sum like George in my life ONG! 🥶🥶👍🏼💯At this point, Dream is me and I am him. We are one. Holy shit this is probably just a vent, I'm realizing that now. Anyways I skipped class to do this. Legally, that is a joke.


	3. This Whole Planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More projecting and things I wish HE would say to me. Pog thru the pain ig.

"FUCK YOU GEORGE!" Sapnap yells so loud it made his mic cutout.  
"Jesus Sap." Dream laughs. George was able to convince him to play with them on the smp, Dream was happy to finally be put at peace by his words. He really did comfort him. And he was good at it too.  
"Well maybe George shouldn't be such a bitch! Hit me again I dare you!" They run after each other and Dream watches them as the colors of their skins flash from his monitor. He's missed this all day, he can't believe he almost didn't play with his two best friends in the world. They play for hours until his eyes are low from being tired and staring at his monitor.  
"I think I'm going to hop off guys, I'm really tired."  
"Goodnight Dream, I love you sooooo much," Sapnap exaggerates his words. Dream doesn't expect anything sappy from George, one, he's streaming, two, he always gets embarrassed saying love-y stuff to Dream in front of Sapnap.  
"Goodnight Clay, love you." George says to his surprise. His face feels warmer than a summer day immediately and his mouth and eyes crinkle. Before he leaves the call he can hear Sapnap tease George, "Awwww wow you say that to him but never me. Say my name, call me Nick. Love me!"  
"Shut up Sapnap." He knew it would happen. He messages George. "You know you didn't have to say that. You know he was going to tease you about it." Send. Did that sound mean? "I appreciate it tho :)" There. He rereads it. Why did he always second guess himself? He waits for George to respond. "I know, but it's true." A few minutes go by, "Hey I think I'm gonna end stream soon, do you want to call? Or are you still feeling tired?" "Sure" he thinks again, did that sound standoffish? He hopes not. He gets snapped out of his thoughts by the ringing of a call on discord.  
"Hi!"  
"Hi George," Dream beams.  
"Can we talk?" Dream's heart drops and starts racing, "Uh yeah sure, what's up?" He says breathlessly.  
"Oh it's nothing bad I promise. It's just I called you Clay before you left and um, you didn't tell me not to, and I just wanted to tell you that it made me happy. Can I keep calling you Clay? I'd really like to, if it's okay with you." He breathes a sigh of relief. He loves how conscious George is of boundaries, but fuck, he really stresses him out when he words shit like that.  
"Yes George, of course. I don't think I mind it much anymore."  
"Why?" "Hm?"  
"Why does it not bother you anymore? Why did it bother you in the first place?" George sounds confused. Dream takes in a deep breath. He finally thinks its time to tell him. He feels safe enough in himself to do it.  
"Well..." He's not sure how to word it, but he just goes with it, "Nobody really knows Clay. They know Dream, for me, I think they're two different people kind of. Dream is really cocky and always sure of himself, but Clay..." He sighs. "Not so much. I always am second guessing myself. Constantly. I can't text you without thinking my texts sound backhanded or cold."  
"Oh. So..." Dream can hear him thinking. He knows what he looks like when he thinks, his brows furrow a bit and his lips tug down, not enough to form a frown though. "So you think I know Clay now?" hearing hope in his voice, Dream doesn't want to shut it down, but he also doesn't want to lie.  
"I think you're getting to know me, rapidly too. I'm not sure if I like how fast though." His eyebrows raise and his eyes go down. Why did he say that? God don't let George think about that too much. Say something! "But I do at the same time." He saves himself, he really didn't mean to say that, but he knows if he's going to continue learning to share his feelings he has to share all of them, "It's comforting, maybe it's just you."  
"God Dre-" George cuts himself off. "Clay," he says warmly, "You're so amazing. You know you always say you're not good at expressing your emotions, but that was really good. Maybe that's just me too huh?" He giggles, Dream wheezes. He loves when George gloats after being praised.  
"Yeah I think so too." Dream sighs. "I'm not sure there's anyone like you in this whole world."  
"There's no other you, Clay, you're special."  
_"Is there another us on this whole planet?"_  
"No." George agrees, "No I don't think so, and I don't think there ever will be either."


	4. Bittersweet Lullabies.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANGST!1!!111!!! HAHAHAH CRI!!!!! Dream becomes too infatuated with George and it takes a toll on him. TW// bad mental health, toxic relationships, mention of suicide.  
> also theres a part in this where Sapnap adds George into a discord call but I have no idea how Discord works so it probably sounds a little funky.

Things are getting better. So so so much better. Dream loves it. Dream loves George... Clay loves George. He wanted George to start getting into a healthier sleep routine. But he also always wanted to be talking to George when he was awake. He set his alarms for 4 am, because for George, that's 9 am. He started going to bed at 9 pm, because for George, that was 12 am. It was all for George. Feeding off of George's love made him feel full. He only ate when someone reminded him or he felt like he was too weak to stay awake. He constantly forgot that having George couldn't just magically keep him alive. All day, everyday, he was on call with George, and occasionally others.

"I love you so much, I want to marry you."  
"You're the best person I know, I'm proud of you."  
"I can't wait to hold you."

George's sappy words smothered Dream and his thoughts, slowly flowing over him like honey, encasing him.  
Sometimes though, his words turned sour like a lemon. 

"If you ever leave me, I'll die."  
"I'm never letting you leave me." 

Although the words George spoke stung against the skin, Dream couldn't help but to be comforted by them. Some nights, they lulled him to sleep. His words were _bittersweet lullabies_

"You um, you sound really tired." Sapnap said quietly. Dream could hear the worry in his voice. He hated hearing him worried about him. He still didn't think he deserved people to care about him. 

"Yeah I am a but tired today, I don't really know why."  
"Have you eaten?"  
"What?"  
"I said did you eat?" Sapnap inquired sternly. Dream knew he hadn't. Sapnap knew he hadn't.

"Oh, no I totally forgot to," he forced out a laugh.  
"Bro go eat, how are you gonna get gains like me if you aren't eating enough?"  
"If I go eat will you never say gains again?"  
"Probably not but still go eat."

As he pulled out a box of pizza from the fridge he remembered what happened the other night.

Dream, George, and Karl were screwing around in Minecraft off stream. Thank God it was off stream, Dream didn't want to think about what would've happened if anyone had been streaming. George had left a few minutes ago to go to the bathroom.  
"Hey Dream?" Karl started to ask, sounding a bit nervous to ask what he was about to ask. "You, um, you haven't been sounding the best lately. Are you doing okay?" _Are you doing okay?_ That's all he'd been hearing for the past few weeks. It always made him upset when he heard it.  
"Jesus fucking christ Karl do you really need to ask that? We were having fun, why the fuck would you ruin it. I swear to god every time we play together you're always fucking it up with your stupid fucking questions."  
"Dream... I-"  
"No! You're always so fucking annoying! Just leave me alone. Holy shit."  
"Clay." George said sternly. Dream stiffened and realized what he had said, he realized that George had heard it. It didn't matter how much of it he had heard, it was all terrible.  
"What the fuck was that?" He could hear anger in George's voice. Along with that he heard sniffling, he made Karl cry. And for what? Because he asked if he was okay?  
"Karl, I- I am-"  
"No Dream I don't want to hear shit from you, leave me alone." Karl said through tears, voice cracking. He left the call. Dream let out a gust of air.  
"Clay you know you don't always have to be such a dick when people are worried about you right?"  
"I, I don't know what happened."  
"I do, you just flipped out on Karl FOR ASKING IF YOU WERE DOING OKAY! What the fuck is wrong with you?" The sound of the microwave beeping shocked him out of the memory. He was happy it did, he didn't want to remember it. He didn't want to remember what George had said to him after that. He still hadn't apologized or even spoke to Karl since he blew up on him. He walked back to his room, a plate of pizza in hand, considering if he should try and make amends with Karl yet. 

"Alright, I'm back."  
"Cool, cool. So, um," Sapnap inhaled loudly. "I know what you said to Karl the other night. His head hung.  
"Why Dream? What even happened?"  
"I honestly don't know. I didn't even mean any of it. I've just been hearing the same question over and over again."  
"Well maybe people are just worried." George's voice came into his head _"-you don't always have to be such a dick when people are worried about you-"_  
"Has George been, um the right thing for you lately?" He thought about it. The things he had said to him.  
"He's been saying that if I left him he'd like," He hesitated, "Kill himself."  
"What?" Sapnap snapped. "You know that's not okay for him to say right? That's literal manipulation." Dream knew a lot about manipulation but could never clock something as manipulation until months, even years later.  
"No, no, no, it's not like that Sapnap." At least he didn't think it was.  
"I'm adding him to the call right fucking now."  
"No! Please don't!" It was too late George had already accepted.  
"Hi guys!"  
"Don't start with that bullshit you know what you've been doing." George laughed.  
"What do you mean?"

"Telling Clay that you'd kill yourself if he left you?!" Sapnap never called Dream Clay. "Are you actually fucking serious man? Jesus Christ."  
"Well, I-" George made a noise of discomfort, "I don't know. It's always been said to me. Is it bad?"  
"BAD? That's fucking terrible!" So George thought it was normal. "You're fucking manipulating him!"  
"But I-" George sounded genuinely confused. Maybe even hurt. Hurt that he might be hurting Dream. "That's just how you love someone? Isn't it? You, you, um, you just," George was stumbling over his words.  
"George..." Dream spoke softly. "Who's said that to you? Because no, that's not love."  
"I mean, I don't know. People I've dated?"

So George was broken. Just the same as Dream. Maybe they could fix eachother. Or destroy eachother.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. Wow. That's probably the most I've ever written. And honestly that was probably my best work as well. Shii, maybe this might help me in school lol.


End file.
